***Inspired from a conversation with my good friend Paul about his parents’ unexpected journey.

When I was still unsure about my ability to adapt to Violet’s place in Kawangware, my friend offered me to share with him his 2 bedroom apartment. I agreed, but then changed my mind because I wanted to challenge myself at Violet’s. Few weeks later, he was killed in the same apartment. Somebody broke into his house and strangled him to death. I was extremely upset, and couldn’t help asking myself what would have happened if I had moved there. Would I have been able to save him, or would I have been murdered myself?

Life is a strange combination of possibilities. Every decision you make affects your life in one way or another. Some decisions change your life for few hours, some decisions change your life forever. There are no right or wrong decisions, as nobody can travel back in time to try out the other option to see how it would turn out. But there are interesting and boring ones. There are decisions that will take you into unexpected journeys that you could never imagine even in your wildest dreams.

And, the journey that I’m on today is something that my 5, 10 or even 15 year old self could never imagine. Looking back, I’m grateful for every decision I have made.

It was when I decided to leave my hometown to go to high school in Hanoi, against my family’s wishes. It was a decision that made me struggle with the relationship with my family, but also a decision that changed me from a pampered kid to an independent girl who could support herself at the age of 15.

It was in Hanoi that I decided to organize Free Hugs campaign, the campaign that led to my first arrest, and almost got me expelled from school. Yet, it was also the one that introduced me to many other social activities which finally gave me a job offer in Malaysia.

It was when I quit my job in Malaysia that I started this trip. The job in Malaysia allowed me to travel to different countries. I realized that traveling isn’t that expensive, globe-trotting isn’t that impossible. I decided to give it a shot.

Had I not made any of these decisions, I would still be a shy country girl, computer illiterate, unable to speak English, afraid of the outside world. I would probably be studying at a university in Vietnam to become an accountant. My parents would probably expect me to get married as soon as I graduate to a nice boy from my hometown. I would have never traveled to Middle East. I would have never met all the awesome friends I have made. I would still believe that people in Africa are black because they get sunburn. And I would be reading about somebody else’s traveling and bitterly thinking that they must be awfully lucky to be able to do so.

It surprises me a lot when I ask people what decision has changed their lives, they can’t think of any. They always do the same things they are supposed to do: Go to school –> compete for a seat in universities –> look for a job –> get married –> have children –> grow old –> wish that their lives were different.  They avoid crossroads. They overlook opportunities. They refuse to open locked doors. You could pretty much tell how their lives would be in the next 10 years. Well, there is some comfort in stability and security, but I would hate it when I grow old and tell my grandkids about my life, they just go like: ”Aww, I don’t want to be like you when I grow up.”

So, how about you? Have you ever made a life changing decision, or has your life always been the same as how you and other people expect it to be?

And as Randall Munroe, the founder of xkcd said:

“Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they are doing. Do things without always knowing how they’ll turn out. You’re curious and smart and bored, and all you see is the choice between working hard and slacking off. There are so many adventures that you miss because you’re waiting to think of a plan. To find them, look for tiny interesting choices. And remember that you are always making up the future as you go.”

Tags: decision, Friends, Life, Life-changing decision, Random, travel, Travel and Write