22
Apr

Boyfriend application

   Posted by: Chip   in fun

First, a little bit about myself. I’m 20 and I’m awesome. Check out my About page for more information, lazy bum.

As I’m growing up and my life is expanding, there is an opening position that I need a guy to fill up. It’s called “boyfriend”. To be honest, I’m kinda sick of wasting my time with wrong ones. To save time of both, I’ve made a list of mandatory criteria that I’m looking for in a guy. And because I’m too shy to ask my friends, I put it on my blog to make it a fair game for everyone.

Here you go:

1. You must be born male physically & mentally. Fans of Justin Bierber, Jonas Brothers, Super Junior & other Korean boybands are not counted.
2. You must be born between 1980 and 1990. This is a kid free zone – kids & those who have kids are not allowed.
3. You must be single, I mean not married.
4. All your parts must be working properly and have at least 3 year warranty. Further testing will be conducted.
5. Your height must be between 1m75 and 1m82 (between 5ft9 and 6ft). Too tall guys make me look like a retard and hurt my neck when talking.
6. Your waistline must be smaller than your bustline.
7. You must not be a drug user. Weed(s) is not considered as drug.
8. You must not have STD, cancer, leprosy, other deadly or epidemic diseases.
9. You must have a Facebook account.
10. You must use Internet on a daily basis. I know there are a lot of normal human beings can survive without Internet, but to have me share my life with you, you’d better have broadband connection.
11. You must play at least one sport frequently. Chess and PS are not counted. Weight lifting will scare me away.
12. You must be using a smart phone. LG “smart” phones are not counted. They are stupid.
13. You must know proper dress code to wear in certain occasions. Oh well, it’s ok if you know but you don’t want to wear like that.
14. You must know how to play poker or billiard.
15. You must know how to swim because I don’t.
16. You must be a good kisser.
17. You must be financially independent from your family. Again, it’s a KID FREE ZONE.
18. You must not want to marry me.
19. You must have a brain and it must be working.
20. You must have good sense of humor. If you read this post and get pissed, sorry you’re not qualified.

If you meet all those criteria above, please contact me immediately with a picture of yourself taken in the last 3 months. If you don’t, pick up your phone, call your Mom or you can bookmark this page and get back to me later when you meet all the requirements.

Thank you very much for your interest. Only successful candidates will receive a response.

All the best,

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 at %I:%M %p and is filed under fun. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

46 comments so far

Do Quang Tung
 1 

hahaha, I was laughing soooo hard when I read the criteria!!! Funny you.

April 22nd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
admin
 2 

Haha Tung, congratulation, you meet criteria #20

April 22nd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Do Quang Tung
 3 

YAYYYY!!!! ONE CRITERION TICKED! :) )

April 22nd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 4 

I have almost of things, except 5 and 16 :(

April 22nd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 5 

Love this. Funny post. Keep it up Chip :-)

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
admin
 6 

@Tung How many points that Mai thinks you have?
@Simpleman No worry, I still love you.
@Ben Thanks. Keep up looking for boyfriend?

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Kucku
 7 

One of my friends is gay. He can fit this very well, especially #18. I will let him apply ;)

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
admin
 8 

Your friend might fail for #1. But if he’s hot, let him try anyway. Let’s see if I can turn gay into straight.

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Minh
 9 

You make me think

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 10 

So close! Just not tall enough. My mom always told me to drink more milk. Who knew 25 years later, it would cost me so…..I think I’ll just give up and start doing drugs in a downward spiral of depression now.

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
admin
 11 

@Minh So normally you don’t think?
@Michael Aww you’re not tall enough? Maybe I should lower my criteria :P

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Minh
 12 

yes man never think :)

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 13 

“All your parts must be working properly” ^^ Make me laugh :D

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Vo Viet Anh
 14 

All conditions met! I am writing this to apply for your boyfriend position. Application picture: http://cdn.myanimelist.net/images/userimages/293290.jpg

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
admin
 15 

Are you sure? I think you fail #5. You must be above 1m82

April 23rd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 16 

Haha. Interesting checklist.

What a pity I meet 20/20. The problem is that I don’t want a girl friend. So please specify those criteria as number one:

+ You must be seeking for a girl friend
+ You must not be perfect or pretend to be so

Good luck. Ha ha

April 24th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
PhuongLuu
 17 

fail at #3

April 24th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
admin
 18 

@pcdinh lol good for you. I don’t really care if they are seeking for a girlfriend or not. Too serious relationship will kill me.
@Phuong Luu you fail the most important one:
#0 You must not be one of my relatives, bros or best buddies xD

April 24th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Icy Heart
 19 

I meet 19/20 1,2,3,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20
:)

April 24th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
admin
 20 

No, you fail #19. You were supposed to list 1 point you don’t qualify instead of listing all 19 points you do, not to mention that you missed 1.

April 24th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Tran Duc Minh
 21 

I qualified for all but criteria #3

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Nguyen Hoang
 22 

fail at #11 lol

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 23 

Let see… Failed at #3 , #6 and #11 LOlzzz. Seriously, I dont know why I read all that.

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 24 

oh, my god. :) )

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
tjn
 25 

i’m ok:x

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Toen
 26 

All your parts must be working properly and have at least 3 year warranty. Further testing will be conducted.

what does it mean ;) )

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
hungbond
 27 

too complicated & definitely crazy

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Mashiro
 28 

haha, I see myself in this crazy list :)

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
haian
 29 

remove 3 and 5, then I’ll be yours

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Đức
 30 

I meet all. I also have an extra for you: I’ve got HUGE C*CK!

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Minh Son
 31 

I just have a heart, do you need :(

April 26th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 32 

No one can match this criteria!!

April 27th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Testament
 33 

I mean no offense but that Mr.Right are not for you since u’ll fail at the 1st criteria of a gud girlfriend: good-looking.
If u get angry when reading my cmt, u’ll fail another criteria: generous
My advice:U should consider removing some of your requirements or u’ll live the rest of ur life w/o “boyfriend”

April 27th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Nam Nguyen
 34 

19/20

April 27th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 35 

19/20 ;-)

April 27th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 36 

chip, i wonder that my only one elder brother meets all those things. but i’m not sure he wanna make you his g.f or not :P :P :P

btw, i’m chan myae(from mm)

April 27th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Your man
 37 

Are you still a virgin?

April 30th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 38 

Aww, i meet all, but how do you know that i will read this post. :) )

May 2nd, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 39 

không đủ tiêu chuẩn!

May 4th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
JL
 40 

You didn’t mention about gender :) )

May 8th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
 41 

lol. This is a great checklist. :)

May 11th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
gaupeo
 42 

Except #3. Why dont u thinking about it?:D

May 20th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
VIPboyM
 43 

Hi there, if you like I want to be friends first and then you can judge me later. I feel very positive toward your face :) .
Take care

Medoo,

May 24th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Dhruwa Mittal
 44 

Haahaahaaa…

December 28th, 2010 at %I:%M %p
Gilbert Nguyen
 45 

Chip, you forgot one more criteria?
21. You must understand English, so you can understand what I’m talking about.

March 22nd, 2011 at %I:%M %p
NickyNguyen
 46 

Just #2: I was born 1979.
But I just want to be one your friend and I really want to travel around the world.
How can I go with you? or you can show me the way which I can?
Hope to keep in touch with you.
My email: bb190379@yahoo.com

September 19th, 2011 at %I:%M %p

4 Trackbacks/Pings

  1. Chip 2.0 - Travel and Write » Blog Archive » What I love and hate about Malaysia    May 11 2010 / 1pm:

    [...] weeks ago, after receiving quite a lot of positive feedbacks regarding my lighting talk about my boyfriend application joke (yes, the boyfriend application thing was a joke, please don’t take it serious. I’m not [...]

  2. Chip 2.0 - Travel and Write » Blog Archive » 20 years of existence and my new flatmates    Oct 04 2010 / 9pm:

    [...] to me all the time, but they are quite nice to beautiful women. They all meet most criteria for my Boyfriend Application. For some reasons that we all understand but you’d better not, they are also very single. So if [...]

  3. BarCamp Kuala Lumpur 2010 Day Two! | Salocin.TEN Virtual Place    Feb 13 2011 / 11pm:

    [...] I was more interested in the lightning talks, since they are basically five minute quick speeches and presentations on a variety of stuff, from eggs, to a list of 20 criteria to be “Chip’s” perfect boyfriend. [...]

  4. BarCamp Kuala Lumpur 2010 Day Two! « The Salocin.TEN Virtual Place    Aug 09 2011 / 8pm:

    [...] I was more interested in the lightning talks, since they are basically five minute quick speeches and presentations on a variety of stuff, from eggs, to a list of 20 criteria to be “Chip’s” perfect boyfriend. [...]

Leave a reply

Name (*)
Mail (will not be published) (*)
URI
Comment